Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize