I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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