There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
