come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
