So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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