you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We just shotgunned beers for America
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So much rum. So many feels.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ok first of all what the fuck
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