I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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