Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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