he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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