he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
