Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
