Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
