I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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