hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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