we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
