with your own penis?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
