Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
