drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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