Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
