Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
