why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
