I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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