I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize