Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
