The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
