I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
