That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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