as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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