someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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