So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
