if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
