I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
