so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have post one night stand depression
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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