either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
