Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize