Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
