uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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