I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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