I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
