I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
