I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
