Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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