We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
