Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
