Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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