Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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