Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
