TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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