I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
