My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
