idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize