All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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