I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
