i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
