Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fuck appropriateness.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
