You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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