It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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