Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
