Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
