I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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